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Anonymous Comrade writes:

US Presidency To Be Outsourced to India

Washington, DC (AP) -- Congress today announced that the office of President of the United States of America will be outsourced to India as of July 1, 2007.

The move is being made in order to save the President's $500,000 yearly salary, and also a record $521 Billion in deficit expenditures and related overhead the office has incurred during the last 5 years. "We believe this is a wise financial move. The cost savings are huge." stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R-WA). "We cannot remain competitive on the world stage with the current level of cash outlay." Reynolds noted.

Mr. Bush was informed by e-mail this morning of his termination. Preparations for the job move have been underway for some time.

Gurvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices, Mumbai , India will assume the office of President as of July 1, 2007. Mr. Singh was born in the United States while his Indian parents were vacationing at Niagara Falls , thus making him eligible for the position. He will receive a salary of $320 (USD) a month but with no health coverage or other benefits.

It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle his job responsibilities without a support staff. Due to the time difference between the US and India, he will be working primarily at night, when few offices of the US Government will be open. "Working nights will allow me to keep my day job at the Dell Computer call center," stated Mr. Singh in an exclusive interview. "I am excited about this position. I always hoped I would be President." A Congressional spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may not be fully aware of all the issues involved in the office of President, this should not be a problem as President Bush was not familiar with the issues either.

Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree that will enable him to respond effectively to most topics of concern. Using these canned responses, he can address common concerns without having to understand the underlying issue at all. "We know these scripting tools work," stated the spokesperson. "President Bush has used them successfully for years."

Bush will receive health coverage, expenses, and salary until his final day of employment. Following a two week waiting period, he will be eligible for $140 a week unemployment for 13 weeks. Unfortunately he will not be eligible for Medicaid, as his unemployment benefits will exceed the allowed limit. Mr. Bush has been provided the outplacement services of Manpower, Inc. to help him write a resume and prepare for his upcoming job transition. According to Manpower, Mr. Bush may have difficulties in securing a new position due to limited practical or successful work experience. A Greeter position at Wal-Mart was suggested due to Bush's extensive experience shaking hands, as well as his special smile.

"We Are Negative"

Imaginary Fraction

1. Stop. Stop. Stop. It is time to say stop. It is time to become
negative. A break has occurred that forces us to refuse. We know very
well that there are no half solutions: We have to refuse and dismiss
the development occurring in Denmark right now. Stop, stop, stop.
Racism, cultural homogenization and criminalisation of alternative
lifestyles are official government policy. Stop this fucking madness.
In the current situation it is important to express our dissent in
the streets, but marching in Copenhagen is not enough and must not be
confused with the long dangerous fight where we challenge the basic
machinery of the state. The state is continuously shaping our lives
and our bodies though its biopolitical offensive. But it is possible
to discourage the state and break its will. This has happened many
times throughout history, it is happening in Iraq today and it can
happen here.

2. The state is a fragile mechanism, that’s one of the lessons learned
during the March events in Copenhagen. The confusion was evident: dark
rubber skinned elephants ran galloping through the blacked out streets
searching for their own shadows. They were not able to locate any kind
of frontline where they could mirror their crushing and destructive
power. We were not there. We had gone before the heavy movement of
their machinery eventually came to a halt. There was nothing else to
do for the police than to arrest coincidental bystanders; the need to
catch someone, just anyone, was evident. Going back empty handed was
not an option. Now we know it: the state suffers from a serious case
of sclerosis when reacting like this. It is desperately trying to hold
a divided and dissolved society together by creating images of deviant
subjects wearing veils, being pierced, throwing bricks or just saying
‘no’. If they don’t exist they are created. Stop, stop, stop.

Translocales writes:

"On the Road to the US Social Forum:
Thinking from the Movements"
Translocal Productions: Sebastian Cobarrubias + Maribel Casas


With the USSF less than a month away, we thought now was a good time to let rip a couple of general reflections on our experiences in US social movements. Supposedly, despite the many and often justifiable critiques, the Social Forum processes are times to reflect on where we have been collectively as social movements, share tools and analyses, and start to beat paths into the uncertain future.

What follows then are a few things we noticed time and time again in US-based social movements but which we rarely hear discussed, other than as side comments among a few companions. While we have heard excellent critiques and ways to deal with things such as- privilege and supremacy issues within movements, exclusionary forms of activism, linking local community struggles to global questions (war, capitalism), what follows are a few things that we rarely see discussed but which we believe could be something useful for some organizations, collectives and activists to dig their teeth into.

V annon writes:

"World Options: Apocalypse or Resistance"
V Annon

Too bad there is no radical press in the West

nor even a free press .

If there were then you would not read this here.

There would be many articles like this
in your local newspaper, TV and national magazines…

Too bad no one really reads and so very few are radical
or else there would be a market for such articles…

Alas…

Recuperating the Political

Gustavo Esteva

"Choose your enemy carefully," warns an old Arab proverb, "because you
will become like your enemy." If your enemy is an army, you will need
to create another to confront it; if your enemy is the mafia, you will
become a mafia.


"We cannot involve the army of the United States in the fight against
illegal drug trafficking," said the U.S. anti-drug czar some years ago,
"it would create a national security problem." He was recognizing the
risk involved, the risk of the dissolution of the armed forces if they
are used for that purpose. His statement was entirely cynical — he had
just returned from a tour of Latin America where he pressured every
government he met to do exactly that. He didn't care that those armies
would dissolve. The army of the U.S. would remain standing, in case an
army was called for.


Hard facts back the argument. A study by the lawyers guild of Puerto
Rico reported, some time ago, that for every dollar paid by a consumer
of illegal drugs in the U.S., the producers in Colombia or Mexico get
from three to five cents. The distributors and traffickers get between
ten to fifteen cents. The rest ends up in the hands of those who are
supposedly fighting the drug trade.

"The Fidel Castro I Know"

Gabriel García Márquez

His fondness for words. His power of seduction. He hunts for a
problem wherever it is. The impelling force of inspiration is befits
his style. The breadth of his tastes is very well reflected in his
books. He gave up his cigars so as to have the moral authority to
fight smoking. He likes to prepare recipes with a sort of scientific
fervor. He keeps in excellent shape through several hours of daily
exercise and frequent swimming. Invincible patience. Strict
discipline. He's drawn toward the unexpected by the force of his
imagination. Learning to work is as important as learning to rest.


Fatigued by talking, he rests by talking. He writes well and likes to
do it. His greatest motivation in life is the emotion of risk. The
rostrum of an improviser seems to be his perfect ecological element.
When he starts speaking, his voice is always hard to hear and his
course is uncertain, but he takes advantage of anything to gain
ground, little by little, until he takes a kind of swipe and takes
possession of his audience. He's the inspiration: the irresistible
and dazzling state of grace only denied by those who lack the glory
to feel it. He's the quintessential anti-dogmatist.


He's been sufficiently talented to incorporate the ideas of José
Martí, his bedtime author, to a Marxist revolution's bloodstream. The
essence of his own thoughts lies perhaps in his certainty that
working with the masses means first of all taking care of
individuals.

Passover Service

Rose Cohen

While traveling in foreign parts

Avoiding arrows dodging darts

And guided by some ancient charts

I bought from an Arab

I came across a manuscript

Half buried in a dusty crypt

Called exodus from old Egypt

Inscribed on a scarab

As I remember it the Jews

Built pyramids and sang the blues

So Pharaohs could forever snooze

Above the baking sand

Egyptian lords embalmed in spice

Lay in eternal Paradise

While Jews their lives a living sacrifice

Slaved in a foreign land

And one was born named tongue-tied Moses

One chosen by the God of the long noses

To free his people from the rubber hoses

The Pharaoh's men would wield.

By trick of fate he chanced to be

Raised in Egyptian luxury

Brought up within the Pharaoh's family

And one day God revealed…

But let's all drink a toast to Moses

To the God of the long noses

And one day God revealed his plan

To free His people from the Man

And thus to Moses he began:

“Early tomorrow morn

Rise up and go to Pharaoh's door

Take brother Aaron as your orator

Say let my people go we slave no more”

And deep as a French horn

God's mighty voice in anger boomed

God who appeared that day costumed

As bush that would not be consumed

Although it burned in flame

So Moses eighty years of age

Stepped up upon the Pharaoh's stage

To free his people from their prison cage

He called upon God's name

And gave his staff a little shake

And hurled it down as it would break

And lo it turned into a snake

Then Pharaoh gave a sign

And his magicians threw their rods

Which turned to snakes in writhing squads

But Moses' snake ate all the other bods

On each one did it dine

Let's drink to slavery's abolition

To Pharaoh's mummy's slow decomposition

But Pharaoh would not let them go

And thus the Lord spake unto Mo:

“Stretch out thine hand you and your bro

And wherever waters flow

They will be turned to blood” and lo

It came to pass exactly so

Before the peoples' eyes, before Pharaoh

And still his word was No

And so the Lord sent frogs, then lice

Then flies, then cattle paid the price

All of them dead to be precise

Then boils on everyone

Then hail, then locusts filled the air

But still the Pharaoh didn't care

He'd say “Go free” caught up in his despair

Then when a plague was done

He'd change his mind insist they stay

Then God sent darkness every day

So thick Egyptians felt it weigh

Upon their every breath

Until the Pharaoh cried: “Go free

But leave your herds right here with me”

“We need our herds” “Then stay in slavery

And it will be your death…”

Let's drink to innocent Egyptians

To God who caused Pharaoh conniptions

“If once again you see my face

On that day shall your death take place

You'll disappear without a trace”

And then the Lord dealt out

Of all His punishments the worst

The land of Egypt was accursed

It came to pass that night he killed the first

Born and a tremendous shout

A shout throughout the land a cry

Went up from every mouth unto the sky

Because in every house at least one did die

Except among the Jews

For God had given strict instruction

On how they could avoid destruction

And more important than mere reproduction

He said they must forever fuse

The image of this holy day

Upon their souls and never stray

In the least detail from this holy way

For God said: “Kill a lamb

And smear its blood upon the door

Tonight when I do what I swore

And smite Egyptian first born by the score

I God of Abraham…”

We must drink up for Abraham

To the blood of the sacrificial lamb

To the God of those who eat no ham

“I shall Passover the marks of red

While filling Egyptian homes with dead

This night eat ye unleavened bread

And ye must eat in haste

There is no time for dough to rise

Eat bitter herbs to symbolize

The pain of bondage and to memorize

Forever slavery's taste”

And Pharaoh called for Moses in the middle of the night

“Begone with all your people thou accursed Israelite”

And so six hundred thousand folk on foot began their flight

And then the manuscript

Went on: “And this day shall be unto you for a memorial”

Spake God unto His children God the incorporeal

“And ye shall keep it as a feast for time immemorial

How I brought you out of Egypt

And went before to lead the way

By night a flaming pillar, a ray

In a pillar of cloud I led by day

I led you in my glory

Remember how I divided the sea

Gave you water from stone, from the sky toast and tea

Gave you a commandment on adultery

But all that's another story”

Now eat we this unleavened bread

With bitter herbs as the Lord said

And drink to God the fountainhead

That's why we celebrate the miracle

Of Passover it's just empirical

And sometimes the Lord likes to hear it told lyrical

So remember

The Lord of Hosts lays down some heavy shit

And He insists that all ye mortals hearken unto it.

You can now email me at: innakovsky19@yahoo.co.uk:

"Very Important Message"

Inna Mikhail Khordorkovsky

Attn:Sir/Ma

Compliment of the day, I am Mrs. Inna Mikhail Khordorkovsky, the wife of former C.E.O of Yukos Oil Company in Russia Mr. Mikhail Khordokovsky, who is now serving a 9 years jail term.

I have a very sensitive and confidential brief information from my husband to ask for your partnership in re-profiling funds over US$150million. I will give the details, but in summary, the funds are presently lodged with a security company.

This is a legitimate transaction. You will be paid 4% for your "management fees".

If you are interested, please write back and provide me with your confidential telephone number, fax number and email address and I will provide further details and instructions. Please keep this confidential we can't afford more political problems. Finally, please note that this must be concluded within two weeks. Please write back promptly.

I will also suggest you visit these news sites on the internet to be better informed about this project.

newsfromrussia.com

www.supportmbk.com

www.disinfopedia.org

pbs.org/frontlineworld

Forbes.com

mikhail_khodorkovsky_society.blogspot.com

Please endeavour to write me back at my private email address at innakovsky2@mail.ru, I look forward to it.

Regards

Mrs.Inna Khodorkovsky

David Horowitz's List of 100 Most Dangerous Professors in the U.S.

The Professor's Colleges and Universities


Arcadia University: Warren Haffar

Ball State University: George Wolfe

Baylor University: Marc Ellis

Boston University: Howard Zinn

Brandeis University: Gordon Fellman, Dessima Williams

Brooklyn College: Priya Parmar, Timothy Shortell

Cal State University, Fresno: Sasan Fayazmanesh

California State University, Long Beach: Ron (Maulana) Karenga

City University of New York: Stanley Aronowitz, Bell Hooks, Leonard Jeffries, Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick

Columbia University: Lisa Anderson, Gil Anidjar, Hamid Dabashi, Nicholas De Genova, Eric Foner, Todd Gitlin, Manning Marable, Joseph Massad, Victor Navasky

Cornell University: Matthew Evangelista

De Paul University: Norman Finkelstein, Aminah Beverly McCloud

Duke University: Miriam Cooke, Frederic Jameson

Earlham College: Caroline Higgins

Emory University: Kathleen Cleaver

Foothill College: Leighton Armitage

Georgetown University: David Cole, John Esposito, Yvonne Haddad, Mari Matsuda

Holy Cross College: Jerry Lembcke

Kent State University: Patrick Coy

Massachusetts Institute of Technology: Noam Chomsky

Metropolitan State College, Denver: Oneida Meranto

Montclair State University: Grover Furr

New York University: Derrick Bell

North Carolina State University: Gregory Dawes

Northeastern University: M. Shahid Alam,
Northwestern University: Elizabeth M. Brumfiel, Bernardine Dohrn

Occidental College: Tom Hayden

Penn State University: Michael Berube, Sam Richards

Princeton University: Richard Falk

Purdue University: Harry Targ

Rochester Institute of Technology: Thomas Castellano

Rutgers University: H. Bruce Franklin, Michael Warner

Rutgers University, Stony Brook: Amiri Baraka

San Francisco State University: Anatole Anton

Saint Xavier University: Peter Kirstein

Stanford University: Joel Beinin, Paul Ehrlich

State University of New York, Binghamton: Ali al-Mazrui

State University of New York, Buffalo: James Holstun

State University of New York, Stony Brook: Michael Schwartz

Syracuse University: Greg Thomas

Temple University: Melissa Gilbert, Lewis Gordon

Texas A&M University: Joe Feagin

Truman State University: Marc Becker

University of California, Berkely: Hamid Algar, Hatem Bazian, Orville Schell

University of California, Irvine: Mark Le Vine

University of California, Los Angeles: Vinay Lal

University of California, Riverside: Armando Navarro

University of California, Santa Cruz: Bettina Aptheker, Angela Davis

University of Cincinnati: Marvin Berlowitz

University of Colorado, Boulder: Alison Jaggar, Emma Perez

University of Dayton: Mark Ensalaco

University of Denver: Dean Saitta

University of Hawaii, Manoa: Haunani-Kay Trask

University of Illinois, Chicago: Bill Ayers

University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign: Robert McChesney

University of Kentucky: Ihsan Bagby

University of Michigan: Juan Cole

University of Michigan, Ann Arbor: Gayle Rubin

University of Northern Colorado: Robert Dunkley

University of Oregon, Eugene: John Bellamy Foster

University of Pennsylvania: Regina Austin, Mary Frances Berry, Michael Eric Dyson

University of Rhode Island: Michael Vocino
University of South Florida: Sami al-Arian

University of Southern California: Laurie Brand

University of Texas, Arlington: Jose Angel Gutierrez

University of Texas, Austin: Dana Cloud, Robert Jensen

University of Washington: David Barash

Villanova University: Rick Eckstein, Suzanne Toton

Western Washington University: Larry Estrada

"Demanding the impossible"

An Anarcho-Surrealist Manifesto*

Ron Sakolsky

"I is an other. So what if a piece of wood discovers it is a violin…
If brass wakes as a bugle, it is not its fault at all." — Arthur Rimbaud (1871)

By demanding the impossible, we become impossible in our demands. Make no mistake about it, we demand an end to all forms of domination and insist on the realization of poetry in everyday life. Only by erasing the artificial dichotomy between dream and reality can we sever the ties that bind revolutionary demands to a miserabilist search for the best of all possible rulers. What is more humiliating than to be ruled? What is more beautiful to a surrealist than the shattered glass of reality? All power to the insurgent imagination!


The unfurling of the black flag of anarchy augers all the wonders that can be created when subservience dies and the impossible is unleashed. What is more debilitating than to follow orders? What is more inspiring to an anarchist than the refusal to obey? Mutiny is a collective form of refusal in which the intensity of the fevered desire for liberty breaks the authoritarian chains of duty and coercion in the convulsive heat of mutual aid. Impatient to emancipate ourselves, as soon as the uncharted land of our dreams is in sight, we don't petition the captain to take us ashore, we simply jump ship.

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